The Purge

THE PURGE
Perhaps the stupidest concept for a movie ever (all crime is legal for 12 hours, once a year, to aid society) plays out with thudding predictability, an utter lack of scares, and not even the slightest attempt at any true satirical content. A total piece of shit in every way.

This is the End

THIS IS THE END
While I may welcome it in real life, enough already with the movies about mankind’s demise! But I’m even sicker of Hollywood celebrities (particularly this grating cast) pretending to mock themselves, which always feels even more self-congratulatory than a tearful Oscar speech. Okay, Michael Cera was funny. But that’s it.

Not Fade Away

NOT FADE AWAY
David Chase’s poignant and evocative ode to the alchemic power of ‘60s rock is the gritty Rolling Stones to Tom Hanks’ glossy Beatles ala THAT THING YOU DO! Clashing egos remain the conflict, but the music feels weightier, the seemingly inevitable fate more bittersweet. A true, overlooked gem.

True Detective

TRUE DETECTIVE
In the wake of the season’s end, I have to change what would have been an unequivocal rave to a mitigated cry of Entertaining Bullshit after one of the most disappointing, off-key, and unsatisfying climaxes in TV history. Was Nic Pizzolatto out to make fools of us from the beginning?

Somm

SOMM
As an amateur oenophile, I’ve always respected wine experts. Or at least I did until I saw this film, focusing on a bunch of fratty, egomaniacal, hyper-competitive Master Sommelier candidates who give parsing varietal complexities the tenor of locker room jockstrap snapping. It’s surprisingly annoying rather than inspiring.

Marvel Comics: The Untold Story

MARVEL COMICS: THE UNTOLD STORY by Sean Howe (Harper Perennial)
For fanboys, a riveting, eye-opening peek inside the fabled “Marvel Bullpen,” revealed as less Stan Lee’s jolly clubhouse than a frustrating sweatshop that devolved over the years into a shrill gimmick factory, passed from owner to owner like a radioactive hot potato. Be warned, True Believers, ye shall cry heresy!

A Good Day to Die Hard

A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD
A profoundly stupid stew of testosterone and lead, this fifth entrant continues the series’ steady slide from brilliant, believable action classic to ridiculous cartoon, as the aging, yet now seemingly invulnerable, terrorist-battling John McClane survives hailstorms of bullets and ten-story falls with his estranged dullard of a son. Painfully putrid.